Sitting in judgement

I sure hope that at the end of this year, when I read a recap of 2015, I will find that it is less disturbing than that which I read a week ago about 2014. What with racial intolerances ever increasing,police killing unarmed citizens, angry citizens killing the police, child murders by their own parents on the rise, college campus rapes and violence ever increasing, school shootings having increased to a higher percentage than history ever remembers, and suicide rates climbing to the max, (to include famous people who " have everything"), our world is going to pot (and legalizing it)!

When we read these stories, we develop opinions immediately. We view ourselves as judge and jury. These are emotionally charged issues. Everyone jumps on a bandwagon of some sort. Some groups politicize the bad happenings, some groups blame the people who have been injured, saying it is all their fault. Some people even blame those who can't take it anymore by killing themselves, as being perpetrators of self-hurt and violence in our society.  

One thing is for sure...we human beings pass judgement on every situation.  It's "only human;"  even though Jesus was very clear that he would be the only judge and jury.
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“Do not judge, or you, too, will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matt 7; 1-3). 

And, we still pass judgement as though it is our place to do so!

But, what if we weren't so quick to pass judgement on others? What if we looked at violent situations as an opportunity to exercise compassion? 

What if we humbly asked God to transform us?  What if we were able to become more like Him? What if we were transformed to such a degree that we were able to show compassion to others-to displace our prejudices with acceptance and love?  Would we still be so racist? Would our society still cause violence and death to its own children? Would we still look at the death of our young, black youth as a reason to cause violence?  Or would we reach out before things got out of control?

Would we see a "selfish" man who "had everything" take his own life, or would we see a man who had an insidious brain disease who felt he had no place to turn? What if, in asking the Lord to give  us compassion, we asked God to humbly remove our OWN character defects, in order that we may share in this transformation?

My prayer this day:  Heavenly Father, I humbly ask your help in becoming transformed into the person you want me to be...to be more like You.  I ask that you remove my negativity and my instinct to judge others, and to replace my judgement with love and compassion for others.  Please show me Your Way, Father God. Please help me see another point of view and not just my own. Help me be a sheep who can follow her Shepherd and become more Christ-like.  I humbly ask these things in the name of my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ.  AMEN.

As I prepare to embark upon my Journey with Logos365 and the "Take Me Deeper" creative journaling study, I struggled with the one word I would use to focus on this year.  The instructions were simple...think of a word that describes something you want to focus on in your life within the upcoming year.  Then, as the journal prompts are given, record in an art journal (with some type of creative medium) thoughts which will answer the questions in the given prompts.  I am thinking it is a mixture of Bible study, artistic creations, and thoughts/feelings (which I may or may not share with others) all rolled into one...with the end result being an increased intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.

Everyone was talking about their "word" on the accompanying FB pages.  At first, I read all the comments and 'liked' many.  But, after a day or two, I started to get a little concerned.  Why hadn't I been able to come up with a "word?"  I had prayed about it...I was looking for those same signs...why was God holding out on me?  Why was this becoming difficult for me?  Most importantly, why was I more focused on the finding just the right "word" when I should have been focusing on Him?  Wasn't the point of this whole journey to increase my closeness with God, to become a better person, to share with others as a witness, and to develop my relationship with Christ?  So, I voiced my concern on the Facebook page and I was amazed at how many other women were struggling with the same concerns about not having their "word." And it seemed as though I learned from these women...I needed to RELAX about the whole thing...I needed to NOT make it about a WORD, or about MYSELF.  I needed to make this journey about HIM.

Just about the time I had given up on the idea of finding just that one, ever elusive, perfect "word," it happened.  I was at work where I started my day off the same every morning...cleaning up someone else's messes from the day before...just so I could help customers in a somewhat tidy environment. Now, this person, after whom I performed  my daily cleaning ritual, has many positive attributes; however, picking up after herself and following through with her work is NOT one of them.  So, as I stood at our shared desk fuming (and pretending to smile at the first customer of the day), I thought FOR SURE God was telling me that I needed to be tolerant.  THERE ITS WAS!!  It was my "word!"  Yay!  I felt like a giddy school girl who had just gotten an "A" on a big term paper.  My heart lightened, as I thought of all the behaviors that my coworker displayed that I was going to learn to "tolerate."  And, by God, I was going to do it with a SMILE on my face...even if it killed me!

Well, that lasted about an hour.  My  morning coffee wore off, and my head came out of the cloud of caffeine from which it had been floating for the previous hour.  "NO!" I begged to God silently, "Tolerance cannot be my word...I have NO tolerance for people who leave work up to someone else to clean up!  GOD, GIVE ME ANOTHER WORD BECAUSE THIS ONE IS NOT GOING TO WORK FOR ME!"  I mean, how could it?  I had been "given" the word "tolerance" and had returned it back to God, all in a matter of less than an hour.  How was I supposed to make it for a year?  I just knew I would tear my own hair out...and probably my coworker's as well!  So, I decided either I hadn't really heard God, or that HE was wrong!  Imagine how lowly I felt when HE humbled me, as He showed me the err of my thoughts.  My day dragged on, and things with  my coworker got worse...she made mistakes she usually didn't make, she was difficult to get a long with, she harassed another coworker, she was just downright unpleasant to be around.  Even for her, as a somewhat difficult person to deal with on a daily basis, she was having an extra bad day.  I asked her if I could help with whatever was going on and she told me no, thanked me for the offer, then said she would figure it out.  Something was going on with her that she didn't feel she wanted to share...or didn't feel safe sharing with me.

I questioned myself as to why I hadn't noticed her behavior earlier...I could have noticed, had I not been acting in my own snarky way, that she was having a problem.  Taking note and subsequent action is pretty hard to do, though, if you are all wrapped up in yourself; and that's exactly what I was.  As I stood still long enough to hear His voice, it was almost as though His voice infiltrated my thoughts: "Since when did you become so compassion-less?  Have I not fed and clothed you? Kept you from harm? Have I not been there to carry you through your own storms? Have I not loved you, even at your worst times?  And have I not demanded a simple commandment for you to keep, "Love your neighbor as yourself?"  Then I remembered this verse  in

 Matthew 9:36 " When he saw them [the crowds], he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.: "

Wow, talk about feeling humbled.

Yeah, the voice of God can do that to you!

Today, I know that my word is not TOLERANCE (yet).  Because God showed me that before I can be tolerant, I must learn COMPASSION for others.  It is then, and only then, can I learn tolerance. And, I can only do these things with His help.

Thank you, Jesus, for showing me that my word is compassion...and that it is not only a word, but also a command from You which I definitely need to learn!

Susan Baldridge
01/01/2015

A New Year-Take Me Deeper Journey

I am about to embark on a wonderful journey. New things are scary sometimes. All of my character defects seem to be trying to pull me away from this journey, even though I am desperate to know Christ more intimately and to experience His Supreme love and acceptance.  My seemingly lack of commitment, my procrastination, my inability to accept myself the way God made me...all these things, and others, are trying to pull me away from this walk with Christ. To combat this, I have to keep reminding myself that "the enemy" doesn't want me to succeed!  And the Bible verse that I found on the Take Me Deeper page spells out what I want...what I desperately need and want...is to get closer to HIM so that I may find myself cradled in the arms of His love. 

...so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:17-19 NIV

So, here I am, just about ready for my journey. I have my 3 ring binder, my supplies, and my desire. I ask God's help so I won't fail:

God to help me because I am weak. When I feel that I want to procrastinate, Lord, please remind me that You are trying to help me see my own worth. When I want to waste time watching too much TV, or binge on cookies, remind me that there are MANY ways I have learned to deflect the importance of getting closer to You; and that only through YOU will I find my true happiness! Father When I feel depressed, guide me with your compassion, as You show me how to come out of the pit I have gotten too accustomed to being in. Help me see a better way, Father God...YOUR way.  In Christ Jesus' name, I humbly ask these things. Amen